05.

and you are like

the suitcase sitting in my closet

drowning under the numerous

fingers and arms and feet and limbs

of my heart and soul and love and

i wish i could just

buy a train ticket and just go to

a place where the throat of the

mountains roar and the elephant

grass grows above my head and

when i get there i’ll

throw this old candle to the side

and scream into the wind and

become the rain and the wind and

the air rushing out of my lungs and

you said to me that night

good bye i’m leaving and then there

was nothing but silence and that

silence was noise, the loudest noise

i have ever heard and that’s when i knew


----

you meant it.

04.

come with me to my wonderland,
where grass and love grows like
weeds on your skin and the specks
in the sky aren’t just specks, but

instead your dreams, hanging by
spiders thread. be my mad hatter,
my ace of hearts. follow me through
the rabbit hole and drink the sweet

nectar of the singing flowers so that
your eyes can open wide shut and
you can delight in the colors of this
world, the colors that only honey bees

can see. climb into my makeshift
umbrella boat and together we will sail
pass the singing whales and the dancing
clams until we run ashore and our

bare feet can burrow themselves in
the sand, each grain a dream waiting
to be hung by our shaking fingers in the
sky. take my hand and whisper into my

ear all the things that we like to hear.
promise me protection and good will.
promise me love with no ropes. promise
me that you will keep my wonderland safe.

promise me.

---

how delightful indeed.

03.

You know you got it bad when

the world starts to turn slowly 

and everything is perfectly okay,

not because they say it's okay but

because he says it's okay. then the

A.) world stops.

B.) world doesn't matter

3.) world is him.

You know you got it bad when

the electricity starts to jump from

his skin and dance on yours and as

they tango back and forth you realize

that this is the feeling you've been 

1.) looking for.

B.) longing for.

C.) waiting for.

You know you got it bad when

your whole brain is screaming L O G I C

and the neurons are leaping from synapse

to synapse, like paper boys wired up on

some kind of crack, and your humming bird

heart is beating faster and harder and

louder and stronger than ever before and

is drowning you in ecstasy. you don't 

know why but you know you're going to die

A.) from drowning.

C.) from a heart attack.

B.) from love.

You know you got it bad when

when--?

0.) now.

0.) then.

7.) forever.

-----

Some say love is a game

I say it's like a test

there is no right or wrong

there's just 

02.

This is where the sidewalk ends

1.
Where the road is like the humped
back of a snake, twisting and writhing
its way around islands of houses.

2.
Where the whitecaps that you read
about in history books and fantasize
about in your dreams are not only

contained to your imagination but
also on the gently sloping lips of
the clusters of flowers dappling the

ground. (stars in a sky painted green.)

3.
Where the hidden world of wonderland
is waiting for you just beneath the shaded
darkness of trees and there sits a lone

bench and a pinwheel spinning silently
in the wind; around and around and
around

4.
Where your mind is a fish bowl, sloshing
around and losing its sense with every
step you take until you have nothing but

an empty shell of glass, a fragile remnent
of what once was, is, and ever could be.

-----

I am standing at the edge of where the side walk really ends

and

I am a curious case of nonsense and common sense.

01.

and there was a

heart in my throat and deep abyss in my chest. there's just something wrong with this picture. maybe it's the fact that everything seems peaches and cream until they tell you otherwise. kind of like when you realize you have a cut and only then does it start to hurt. ouch. maybe it's the fact that love might have gotten it wrong or maybe the fact that he's not gone. maybe it's the fact that i never intended it to end up like this and her words are breaking me. maybe it's the fact that she might be out for revenge or the fact that i'm running and going nowhere.

----

I told you to leave me alone.

I told you i told you I told

just go